And another thing..........

about the business of having babies. I have always kinda let this one go because it is such a personal and emotionally charged issue, but we seem to have a divide between those of us who are able to have a "natural birth" and find it "empowering" and those of us who want or need to deliver either regularly or via c-section in a hospital setting.

I am one of those who delivered in a hospital. I have delivered both ways, vaginal and c-section. Now I am going to take a huge amount of slack for this one, but for me personally the c-section experience won HANDS DOWN. And I don't just mean during delivery. I mean all of the after effects as well. I can tell you, and I am going to be frank here, marital relations with my hubby was much better much sooner after my c-section. I also retained full bladder control after my c-section, which absolutely did not happen when I delivered my first daughter "normally". I suffered horrible bladder and bowel control issues after my "normal" delivery. (Sorry if that was TMI) That experience, even though my first baby came out the "right way", was not very empowering to me. Let's face it, having to cross your legs every time you laugh, cough, or sneeze just so that you don't wet your pants or having to wear a poise pad everyday to catch the leaks just isn't "empowering". It's embarrassing. :(

I could drone on and on about this, but I really have a simple point. My c-section worked best for me. I am sure that there are ladies who had a wonderful normal delivery in the hospital while using pain medication and that's what worked for them. I am also sure that there are women who had great birth experiences in free standing birth centers or at home, pain medication free and surrounded by family. My method of delivery was not what "empowered" me as a wife and mother, though. It was my new baby, my husband, God, and my own sense of self that empowered me. It was NOT the delivery. I don't consider myself any less of a woman and mother just because of how my babies were born. And no one should really feel any more or any less "empowered" simply because of how they delivered their baby. The method of delivery is only a way of getting the baby out. That's all, and nothing else. We can't let our personal childbirth experiences define us as mothers and women because every single woman's body has different needs.

I'm just sayin'......

My peas are popping up.....

and my belly is popping out. ;) I am officially 9 weeks along now. And may I just rant for a moment? Good, because I am going to anyway.

I will be 35 years and 2.5 months old when this baby is born. Obviously, it was conceived while I was still 34. As most ladies know, 35 has been decided to be the "magic number" of your childbearing years.Apparently it doesn't matter that my baby will be mostly busy gaining weight during those 2.5 months that I am 35. Because I am going to be 35 when the baby is BORN I must have every single invasive prenatal test ever invented or else I am a bad mother. I am 34 going on 35, but I refuse to believe that I am automatically broken and in need of extreme medical intervention just because I have the apparent misfortune of turning 35 before I give birth. Sheesh!!! My husband kind of thinks that this is quite funny. He keeps saying "Well, you are getting old hon." Wink, wink, nod, nod. But he isn't the one that they want to run a cvs test and an amniocentesis on along with an ultrasound in every trimester. I have an autoimmune disease, but it was never an issue in previous pregnancies. They almost didn't seem to care when my blood pressure shot up and I swelled up like a water balloon. The baby was fine even though I wasn't, so everything was going to be ok. I specifically asked if these tests were related to my previous pregnancy complications. They said "NOPE". It's because of MY AGE!(!!??!!) What the heck! That makes no sense to me! I have plenty of relatives who delivered normal, healthy babies after age 35. We have NO HISTORY of birth defects in my family or in my husband's family. NO history whatsoever!! I am apparently incapable of producing a baby without birth defects just because I am past my expiration date. UGH!!! It just makes me so mad. And I have really been treated quite badly in the dr's office over this. They try to make me feel guilty for not submitting to all of their tests. But really it just makes me feel like they are using my age as an excuse to jack up my delivery charges ("High Risk with Advanced Maternal Age") and make as much money from the tests as possible just because I have good insurance that will blindly pay for all of their goofy tests because I fit the "profile". (And we wonder why our health care costs so much in this country. But that is a whole other topic...)

And no, we wouldn't abort anyway even if I took the tests and they came back as having a birth defect as a possibility. So what's the point of all the tests?

I understand that my Hashimoto's disease makes me higher risk. I understand that I am high risk because I only deliver by c-section. What I don't understand is why the BIG HUGE emergency is not those risk factors but the fact that I am going to be 35 for only 2.5 months before I deliver. It just makes no sense to me!!

Ok, I am done ranting now. Thanks for letting me vent. I feel better already.

And here is my new battle cry: "Old mothers of the world, UNITE!!" ;) Let's fight the power and tell them that we are only old, not old and broken too.

I feel like a carton full of eggs that are past their expiration date........

Have a great weekend everyone!