Friday, May 02, 2008

And another thing..........

about the business of having babies. I have always kinda let this one go because it is such a personal and emotionally charged issue, but we seem to have a divide between those of us who are able to have a "natural birth" and find it "empowering" and those of us who want or need to deliver either regularly or via c-section in a hospital setting.

I am one of those who delivered in a hospital. I have delivered both ways, vaginal and c-section. Now I am going to take a huge amount of slack for this one, but for me personally the c-section experience won HANDS DOWN. And I don't just mean during delivery. I mean all of the after effects as well. I can tell you, and I am going to be frank here, marital relations with my hubby was much better much sooner after my c-section. I also retained full bladder control after my c-section, which absolutely did not happen when I delivered my first daughter "normally". I suffered horrible bladder and bowel control issues after my "normal" delivery. (Sorry if that was TMI) That experience, even though my first baby came out the "right way", was not very empowering to me. Let's face it, having to cross your legs every time you laugh, cough, or sneeze just so that you don't wet your pants or having to wear a poise pad everyday to catch the leaks just isn't "empowering". It's embarrassing. :(

I could drone on and on about this, but I really have a simple point. My c-section worked best for me. I am sure that there are ladies who had a wonderful normal delivery in the hospital while using pain medication and that's what worked for them. I am also sure that there are women who had great birth experiences in free standing birth centers or at home, pain medication free and surrounded by family. My method of delivery was not what "empowered" me as a wife and mother, though. It was my new baby, my husband, God, and my own sense of self that empowered me. It was NOT the delivery. I don't consider myself any less of a woman and mother just because of how my babies were born. And no one should really feel any more or any less "empowered" simply because of how they delivered their baby. The method of delivery is only a way of getting the baby out. That's all, and nothing else. We can't let our personal childbirth experiences define us as mothers and women because every single woman's body has different needs.

I'm just sayin'......

5 comments:

Ellen said...

Ha! The best part of (both my) labors was the part where they came at me with a needle and said, "this is the last contraction you're going to feel..."

;-)

KitKat said...

Ha ha ha!! I know what you mean, Ellen. :)

Alison Boon said...

They don't give our prizes for bravery over labour do they. My view is that the end result is what matters, either way you get a baby so why do it with pain? I didn't like the epi I had with my son but for the next two labours took pain relief as and when needed. Bliss. Had an emergency C-section for the 4th, now my tummy looks like a hot cross bun. It's your body why shouldn't you choose how to let the baby out.

moey said...

Hiya KitKat! Just giving you a heads up -- you've linked to my blog in your sidebar, so I'm going to give you a new address to change it to, to update, if you are willing:

http://www.bendingtwigs.blogspot.com

Thanks! See you around!

a soldier's wife said...

:) I have to agree with you here. I don't think I'm any less of a Mom and that My Mom experience isn't as deep as others who've gone the completely natural way.
I'm also one of those that had complications in both of my pregnancies and so I'm very thankful to the Lord that I had such wonderful medical care.