Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Why?

My neighbor and I have been pregnant together for the past 4 months. She was due July 25th, but she is a type 1 Diabetic and the baby was getting too large so they induced her. After 18 horrible hours of labor she was finally able to start pushing, but the baby's heart stopped during delivery. They weren't able to get her in for the emergency c-section fast enough, so the baby was deprived of oxygen for 15 minutes. They revived him, but it is not good....... My neighbor, who would have made a wonderful mother, is staying by her dying baby's side until the end. She won't even come home to change clothes or shower. My heart hurts so bad for her. I cannot imagine her pain.

I just found this out today. I knew that they hadn't been home for well over a week, and I knew that she was high risk so I have been very very worried. But I never expected this. I just wanted to see her get out of her car with her new baby in her arms. I wanted to sit in our driveway together and watch out babies play. I wanted to invite her over to our pool so that her baby could have it's first swim with mine. Now I can't do anything with her or for her except cry the tears that only a mother can cry for another mother who is losing her child. And pray. I have never felt pain like what she is going through right now, but I know the love that I feel for my children. Even the thought of losing them rips my heart out of my chest. I just cannot imagine what she is going through right now, a time of her life that was supposed to be so happy.

I am angry for her. I had awful pre-eclampsia when I was pregnant with my oldest DD. The induced me, just like they did my neighbor. I had over 18 hours of labor. pushing was horrible, and my baby got stuck with the cord wrapped around her neck 2 times. A pair of forcepts later (along with a major episiotomy, detached bladder, and various other physical harms done to me in the process) and my sweet little baby was pulled out silent, limp, and blue. They revived her, and she had not been that way long so my little blue baby is now a normal and healthy 10 year old. We were very very lucky. But this all could have been prevented if they would have given me a scheduled c-section instead of inducing me. The neighbor two doors down from us had a similar story (pre-eclampsia and induction), except they had to rush her in for an emergency c-section and the baby had been without oxygen for a bit longer. He is now physically normal but mentally behind his peers. I hear stories like this and it rips my heart out. We were all mothers with serious complications. Why, if the baby needed to come out, did they induce us? Why not just give us a scheduled c-section? We were not "normal healthy pregnancies". We were high risk. Yes, some doctors would consider my story a success. But was it? Is it stories like mine that keep these doctors pushing high risk mothers to attempt a vaginal delivery? I just wish that I could understand why they do this. My neighbor's baby probably wouldn't be dying in the hospital right now if they just would have given her the darn scheduled C!!! Now she ended up with a c-section anyway and a dying baby on top of it. Her body will heal, but her heart will always carry the pain. I'm just so mad. And sad. I can't type anymore.

5 comments:

Unashamed said...

There IS something you can do. You can bring God's word to her in her time of desperate need. Perhaps you can share with her the hope that all who are baptized have - that they have been saved by the blood of the Lamb and will share in all eternity with Him. Perhaps she will agree to have her baby baptized and be able to take comfort in knowing that God has not abandoned this child in death. I am praying that an opportunity arises to share this with her. I will surely remember the family in my prayers.

sara said...

Oh Kitkat, I am so sorry. Praying with you.

Ellen said...

I was fortunate in that (when my son's heart beat started dropping to less than 1/2 during each contraction, they opted for the C-section.

Yes, pray for her and with her and share the gospel.

a soldier's wife said...

KitKat,
I'm praying (((Hugs)))
This is so heartbreaking

Tracy said...

so tragic, prayers being said.